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Like a Leaf on the Wind

by Aidan Saunders

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1.
Inside 04:14
Inside I watch the world go by Flowing, river-like, uninterrupted I try to sit still in my mind but the sun is bright, and it draws my eyes No, I won't be afraid 'cause what I fear is what I refuse to accept is the same as what's inside, what fuels my mind what's behind this game we play The shapes constantly de-shape and reform again, like waves of an ocean Their essence ever remains the same, like a rose untouched behind a glass case No, I won't be afraid 'cause what I fear is what I refuse to accept is the same as what's inside, what fuels my mind what's behind this game we play
2.
I was a strong-armed man with arrow-like intent I saw what I wanted and I made it happen I started on the mountain of prize and achievement then early one evening I saw the great sun setting And I just wanted to be free like those birds in the distance I heard them call out to me, they said "your home is in this moment" But I returned to the world and forgot all about that contentment It faded to a memory, a pretty dream that I'd cling to in darkness I was a strong-armed man with a taste for life's finer things I thought I had my hold on them I thought I could control my fate But when I saw the emptiness I started to descend the face I started looking for the path Looking for the pathless place I kept looking to the sky, hoping for some voice in the silence As if one day I would find water hiding deep in the ocean And I just wanted to be free like those birds in the distance But comfort had its hold on me, and still I fear life without it So I walk and trust that I'm guided by some light ever hiding and humble Though sometimes I catch a reflection No strength can catch it
3.
I used to get nervous about all I thought could happen but now I see one vision nothing lies outside it When I surrendered something in the wind turned It carried so peacefully my now leaf-like body Now I am starting to understand the forces we cannot see and to see the outstretched hand I used to get excited and have high expectations I'd ride the waves enthusiastically forgetting valleys are just as deep Now, when I face decisions I know the roads are endless but I do not doubt this one and take from the moment Now I am starting to understand the forces we cannot see and to see the outstretched hand I surrendered to the wind that blows over everything I surrendered to the wind
4.
I am not at home, though I don't know where I am It is not a place, I can't leave it on command If home is inside, then I've lost the way to feel it If it's hidden now, well then how can I reveal it? How strange that people should pass on the street and feel nothing I can't go on feeling like I'm not a part of this world I am not at home—home is where the wind blows freely Not shaped into thoughts, not molded for man's mastery There's a silent song to which all things dance, unguided It's forgotten here—we know not how to be quiet How strange that people should pass on the street and feel nothing I can't go on feeling like I'm not a part of this world
5.
Seeker 03:35
Wherever you go you look for home and looking for is all you know There is a place you knew when you were born But soon enough you knew you had to go Voices of many others fill your mind 'til you don't know which path is right Friendly fire disguised as advice rots you slowly from inside But no despair will stop the dancing Seeker You know what you need to know But the search is always on, the search is always torture if you don't know that the goal is nothing more than all this looking for
6.
7.
I am always chasing that which brings me peace Slowly realizing that it is always in me I have all that I need I have been a-drifting open sea, my home waves of life, they lift me away from what I know I buy books to comfort explain things in my mind but in the end the most true I've known already inside I have all that I need
8.
Old Embrace 02:44
I'm alone in the night Nobody says my name or whispers their life between breaths that we don't take But I don't stay too late In those thoughts of old embrace If I walked away in the wood, and no one heard Would it take one day to see I'm not my own person? I hold no shape between every old embrace I've chased for worry and left piles of peace behind But none yet have heard me nor what means my longing cry But why should I expect the sun to shine on thoughts that I can't bring to words and even through whispers go unlearned No one can hold me with these thoughts of old embrace
9.
Water flows, it doesn't ask for more It knows its going home through an endless shore Watch branches bend in the wind They never spin nor toil they know they're not their movement Every sun sets so it can rise again No cry or sorrow stops it Love always wins Each grain of sand makes up the land Each plays its duty faithfully and doesn't see itself as separate Like the dancer and the dance the great mystery so many try to grasp yet unknowable and vast yet no words can ever match
10.
West 04:38
To say yes to the moment as it becomes the light to which we run seems nice at the start of the journey but when we face what it means, that's another thing I follow the small birds, the freedom they sing is one I pray for daily But like water in the palm of my hand When I grab it, it just slips again I'm going west To the land that knows I am Each morning a new song fills up the air and catches in the branches, dull brown and shaking, stripped from the cold Death, so life can take place once more I'm going west To the land that knows I am
11.
I've waited for the moment I look at the trees, their swaying leaves and know what means this longing Through all the times I've looked to the skies and kneeling, cried to taste what I have tasted The love I've chased a thousand miles still lies beyond the treeline around the bend where cows graze on green grass, gold in the setting sunlight The farmhouse lies just down the lane I go to sleep in my feather bed and dream of good times wasted then laugh as if I planned it How long ago I stepped onto the road I couldn't tell in years But in my heart, many a lifetime in a blinking flash have passed by I know there's something secret here no sin nor sorrow need I fear No words can touch, I sing despite This chasing's what is sought in life It lies beyond the treeline around the bend where cows graze on green grass, gold in the setting sunlight The farmhouse lies just down the lane I go to sleep in my feather bed and dream of love I've wasted and smile—I know it happens

credits

released March 3, 2023

All songs written by Aidan Saunders
Produced and engineered by Jonas Bonnetta
Recorded at Port William Sound in Mountain Grove, ON
Performed by Aidan and Jonas
as well as
Mika Posen - violin (3, 4)
Michael Feuerstack - pedal steel (5, 6, 10, 11)
Helena Palmer - vocals (2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 10)
Violin arrangements by Aidan

Mixed by Jonas
Mastered by Gavin Gardiner at All Day Coconut

Photo by Kevin Sernoskie
Design by Paul Henderson

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Aidan Saunders Swannanoa, North Carolina

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